The Examined Life
‘This book is about change.’
We are all storytellers – we make stories to make sense of our lives. But it is not enough to tell tales. There must be someone to listen.
In his work as a practising psychoanalyst, Stephen Grosz has spent the last twenty-five years uncovering the hidden feelings behind our most baffling behaviour. The Examined Life distils over 50,000 hours of conversation into pure psychological insight, without the jargon.
This extraordinary book is about one ordinary process: talking, listening and understanding. Its aphoristic and elegant stories teach us a new kind of attentiveness. They also unveil a delicate self-portrait of the analyst at work, and show how lessons learned in the consulting room can reveal as much to him as to the patient.
These are stories about our everyday lives: they are about the people we love and the lies that we tell; the changes we bear, and the grief. Ultimately, they show us not only how we lose ourselves but how we might find ourselves too.
PRAISE FOR “THE EXAMINED LIFE”
“Brilliant. . . . After reading [Grosz’s] absorbing accounts of his patients’ journeys you might feel that The Examined Life ought to be given out free at birth.”
Melissa Katsoulis – The Times
“Grosz’s vignettes are so brilliantly put together that they read like pieces of bare, illuminating fiction. . . . It is this combination of tenacious detective work, remarkable compassion and sheer, unending curiosity for the oddities of the human heart that makes these stories utterly captivating.”
Robert Collins – Sunday Times
“Crystal-clear and completely magical…The Examined Life is a book full of troubles, but also of wonders: it shows people trapped by their own mysterious impulses, searching for an escape hatch, and often finding it”
Craig Brown – Mail on Sunday (read the full review here)
“The Examined Life … shares the best literary qualities of Freud’s most persuasive work. It is … an insightful and beautifully written book … a series of slim, piercing chapters that read like a combination of Chekhov and Oliver Sacks. [A] deeply affecting book…”
Michiko Kakutani – New York Times (read the full review here)
“Grosz tells stories in spare, gentle prose — his compassion for his patients is palpable, and constant, on these pages — the result is a sense of shared humanity, understanding and even hope.”
Kate Tuttle – Boston Globe
Writing with an elegance and poignancy that would make Raymond Carver envious… as The Examined Life shows, whatever comes out, the richness of any person’s honest story of adversity makes mere happiness pale in comparison.
Micah Toub – Globe and Mail
“ Lucid, beautifully written and jargon-free.”
Sebastian Shakespeare – Tatler
“Engaging, frank, and with many penetrating insights. His short, succinct chapters have both the tension and the satisfaction of miniature detective or mystery stories. . . . A stimulating book.”
Michael Holroyd – The Spectator
“By turns edifying and moving. . . . Grosz offers astute insights into the perplexities of everyday life.”
Trisha Andres – Financial Times
[Grosz’s accounts] are shaped like short stories, but true and moving in ways that fiction cannot be. […] Gradually accumulating through his book, Grosz provides, not a definition, but an enactment of the purpose of psychoanalysis, which is both modest and profound.
Alexander Linklater – The Observer (read the full review here)
These “interpretations make fascinating reading, leave you marvelling at the ingenuity of the human subconscious. We are all storytellers, Grosz reminds us – it’s how we make sense of our lives. . . . Grosz’s message is always affirming: if a person can work out what it is that’s driving them, it is possible to change.”
Mark Crockett – The Scotsman
“Excellent… this book arrives like a box of chocolates. Thirty-one elegantly presented chapters which, when you bite into them, each reveals something sweet, rich or crunchy. Every one of these case histories bears repeating. All offer worthwhile insights.”
Susanna Rustin – The Guardian
“Five star review – an intelligent, human and deeply moving book. Grosz is listening for the unspoken and the gaps in between. His book celebrates change and the triumphs and tragedies of humanity”
Jane Clinton – Sunday Express
“Intensely readable… As a reminder of the strangeness of human existence, the myriad ways we find of making ourselves unhappy and the perplexing resourcefulness of the unconscious mind, Grosz’s book is a worthwhile addition to the literature of the examined life.”
Jane Shilling – The New Statesman
“Stephen Grosz has condensed thousands of hours of consultations into this gem. . .[he] writes lucidly and with sensitivity, treating his patients with respect…sprinkled with wise reflections….This is highly recommended.”
Leyla Sanai – The Independen